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Oklahoma and the Booze Beat

Photo taken in an Oklahoma City nightclub, 1950, during bring-your-own-bottle days.
For the third time in 58 years Oklahomans are considering a constitutional amendment involving drinkable spirits. In 1959 Prohibition was repealed. In 1984 selling liquor by the drink was voted in. This time the proposed amendment addresses wine sales in grocery stores.

If the ballot language is approved by the state Supreme Court, a group called Oklahomans for Modern Laws will have to collect 155,216 signatures and must have them submitted 60 days before November’s general election.

For those who haven’t been weirded out by something else this weekend — I’m passing along a joke sent to me earlier by my Cuzzin John Mac. Just don’t tell anyone where you read it. My apologies to WalMart. It’s the 900-pound gorilla and makes an easy target. Personally, I love it. Don’t know what us poor folks would do without it.
Here’s the joke, probably making the rounds of the Internet as we speak.

WalMart announced that they will soon be offering customers a new discount item … WalMart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with E & J Gallo Winery of California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of WalMart brand into their shopping carts, but “there is a market for cheap wine,” said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing. She added, “But the right name is important.”

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the WalMart brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity are:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
09. White Trashfindel
08. Big Red Gulp
07. World Championship Riesling
06. NASCARbernet
05. Chef Boyardeaux
04. Peanut Noir
03. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!
02. Grape Expectations
And the number 1 name for WalMart Wine:
01. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).